my story starts during my sem break.. yeah its like Now? ehemmm.. yeahhh.. hmmm.. something i fear the most during sem break is being away from Him.. usually during my life in palam to me that is when i could feel that He is everything to me.. coz usually i'll just cry when im sad and if im angry i just have no mood to talk, if im ill there's only me and Him.. so the conclusion is He was there every single second when i smile, laugh, sad, angry.. He was there for me all the time.. and of course there's my friends which i call true friends who are there to advise me..but at home i feel more protected.. simply because you have your parents so you dont need to worry much.. its like the protected feelings.. you dont need to worry if you are sick or something coz your parents are always there? yeahh sort of that feeling.. how does this create a gap between me and Allah?
its when i start depending on his servant rather than Him.. this just make me feel further than him.. and that is what happen when im at home.. depend too much on my parents.. hurmm :| and yes im lacking of tarbiyah at home :( no one would like you know its like advise you? share stories with you? yeahh.. *cries a river* i felt soooo extremely lonely? yeahh no new stories, i rarely whatsapp my friends? parents are busy.. yeahhh... so its kinda lifeless and yes my precious time are gone just like that :( *watery eyes* so there's time when i feel that my heart is just soooooo hard.. harder than a rock? i tend to delay my solat.. well just take it as being further away from Allah.. that confusion in me, that asdfghjkl feeling made me think that how would i keep attached to Allah eventhough im at home? coz i feel very empty without Him.. im still searching.. yeahh so that is how i came about this book :3
the first chapter is about attachment.. how you feel bonded to something.. something you dont wanna lose and at the same time you fear of losing.. this is my deepest chapter.. every single time i met someone its really easy for me to feel attached and i just dont wanna lose them.. but i know that somehow we are not going to be together forever.. something that make you feel greedy? and something you want in your life forever? yeahh.. but that some time to reflect how many things that came in your life stays forever? and are you sure that its gonna stay in the future? nothing.. nothing came in this life permanent except Allah.. your wealth, health, even love.. let me quote what she said " put Allah in your heart and the world in your hand" something that stay in the heart would affect you deeply so when you replace with something temporary you just end up with heartbreak perhaps..
you need something that stay forever in your heart.. Put Allah in your heart and the world is going to run after your.. after all we all know that Allah is the one and only Creator.. He is the one who in control for every single thing that is going to happen.. if we get attach with his servant what makes you think that its going to last forever? ok a short example is.. if someone is attach to money? yeah.. he loves money.. money is in his heart, his attachment.. he did haram things to gain money coz to him doing halal thing would consume a lot of time and maybe we might not get a large amount of money bla bla bla.. kay we all know haram is still haram.. you cant do it when it is haram.. now think from another perspective.. Allah is the one who give you rezeki.. why doubt Him? Why do something He hates to earn money when you actually get rezeki from him? so the point is Allah is everything.. put Allah in our heart and dont worry about the world because Allah controls everything :) how was that? hihih
okayyy! the next chapter comes love <3
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