Saturday 27 July 2013

Love In The Air (part II)

ok how should i start? hurmmm.. ok.. hurmm :| i dont know how should i start.. its something i would say lumrah for us to fall in love? yeahh.. every single human being on earth has this feeling called love.. i would say a person is a monster without love hihi.. so there will be a time when we surrender every single thing for our love rite? of course we always want the very best for our beloved ones rite? especially when we have been in love for quite some time.. that person would be our world.. thats why people called love is blind am i right? yes.. love is blind.. when we fell for someone we would give everything.. our time, money, our soul, and even ourself.. we surrender it to that particular person.. just like romeo and juliet? its when true love occurs people would do insane things to be together including committing suicide.. well no committing suicide is haram :3 take note it is haram! hihi but the main point i wanna say is that person is in our heart.. they own it.. they mean every single thing to us.. 


let me quote what she wrote " if being in love means our life are in pieces and we are completely broken, miserable, hardly able to function, and willing to sacrifice everything chances are its not love..  if love for something makes us willing to give up our family, self respect, sanity, peace of mind our deen and even our Lord who created us from nothing know that we ARE NOT IN LOVE.. we are SLAVES..

when you think you are falling in love.. try ask this questions : have you ever forget about the world when you go for solat five times a day? well that means a date with Allah.. do this so called true love brings you towards Allah or away  from him? do take your own sweet time to think..True love would never contradict or compete for one's love for Allah.. when someone leave us and our world turn upside down try ask yourself is Allah in you heart or that person own your heart? 


I knew someone who really love this guy.. yeah they were together but she decided to stop their relationship for Allah. it was heartbreaking for me myself to see her can i call you lost your mind? haha but she really did.. even that guy felt miserable.. well i dont have any experience on relationship so i guess its fine for me to use her as my example? i guess :3 yes they were so in love.. when she decided to stop contact this guy, they went miserable... and what i can only say to her is kalau jodoh awk mmg dgn dia tak kiralah awk kat kutub utara dia kat kutub selatan you guys are going to end up together.. this girl was a brave one.. she did that for Allah.. May Allah bless her effort and grant her reward she wouldnt expected.. they even came to a conclusion of getting married.. and right now i can say she is doing fine i hope so.. both of them.. those struggles she went through i know it hurts.. but if i could advice right now i would say true love wont make you be like a drug addict.. its hard i know, step by wicked step hihi i know you can do this and she had already made it :D 

When Allah is in our heart, every single thing that happen it would not let us down.. but we will continue to raise higher :D insyaallah.. even the world let us down as long as Allah is with us does that even matter? No more.. it doesnt matter as long as Allah is with us.. life in this world is like a traveller.. well i used to say but i didnt feel that.. i know there is a life in hereafter but no single action was taken for me to get to my real destination.. its like travelling in the dessert and you stop by oasis? that is not your destination its just a pit stop.. every single time the world knock us down try to remember jannah, our destination.. so i guess thats what ive gain from reading the book (: change now coz its never too late? yeahhh :) lets set our aim is Jannah.. struggle to empty the heart from this world.. Let Allah fill our heart (: im just a beginner.. i have no idea whats gonna happen to me later on :( so do pray for all of us :) and yeahh! its second half of Ramadhan wish you all happy beribadah? lets seek for forgiveness.. we dont wanna left with nothing after Ramadhan ends :( set our aim and start working.. May Allah bless you 

Friday 26 July 2013

Love Is In The Air

currently im reading Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed.. yeah ive said that in twitter for i dont know how many times hahaha.. so i felt like sharing soooo much but im so sure it wouldnt be as cool as reading the book yourself :3 im just trying to relate how does what she states in the book affected me... p/s you can also try to read her blog more or less the same what is written in the book (:

my story starts during my sem break.. yeah its like Now? ehemmm.. yeahhh.. hmmm.. something i fear the most during sem break is being away from Him.. usually during my life in palam to me that is when i could feel that He is everything to me.. coz usually i'll just cry when im sad and if im angry i just have no mood to talk, if im ill there's only me and Him.. so the conclusion is He was there every single second when i smile, laugh, sad, angry.. He was there for me all the time.. and of course there's my friends which i call true friends who are there to advise me..but at home i feel more protected.. simply because you have your parents so you dont need to worry much.. its like the protected feelings.. you dont need to worry if you are sick or something coz your parents are always there? yeahh sort of that feeling.. how does this create a gap between me and Allah?

its when i start depending on his servant rather than Him.. this just make me feel further than him.. and that is what happen when im at home.. depend too much on my parents.. hurmm :| and yes im lacking of tarbiyah at home :( no one would like you know its like advise you? share stories with you? yeahh.. *cries a river* i felt soooo extremely lonely? yeahh no new stories, i rarely whatsapp my friends? parents are busy.. yeahhh... so its kinda lifeless and yes my precious time are gone just like that :( *watery eyes* so there's time when i feel that my heart is just soooooo hard.. harder than a rock? i tend to delay my solat.. well just take it as being further away from Allah.. that confusion in me, that asdfghjkl feeling made me think that how would i keep attached to Allah eventhough im at home? coz i feel very empty without Him.. im still searching.. yeahh so that is how i came about this book :3

the first chapter is about attachment.. how you feel bonded to something.. something you dont wanna lose and at the same time you fear of losing.. this is my deepest chapter.. every single time i met someone its really easy for me to feel attached and i just dont wanna lose them.. but i know that somehow we are not going to be together forever.. something that make you feel greedy? and something you want in your life forever? yeahh.. but that some time to reflect how many things that came in your life stays forever? and are you sure that its gonna stay in the future? nothing.. nothing came in this life permanent except Allah.. your wealth, health, even love.. let me quote what she said " put Allah in your heart and the world in your hand" something that stay in the heart would affect you deeply so when you replace with something temporary you just end up with heartbreak perhaps..


you need something that stay forever in your heart.. Put Allah in your heart and the world is going to run after your.. after all we all know that Allah is the one and only Creator.. He is the one who in control for every single thing that is going to happen.. if we get attach with his servant what makes you think that its going to last forever? ok a short example is.. if someone is attach to money? yeah.. he loves money.. money is in his heart, his attachment.. he did haram things to gain money coz to him doing halal thing would consume a lot of time and maybe we might not get a large amount of money bla bla bla.. kay we all know haram is still haram.. you cant do it when it is haram.. now think from another perspective.. Allah is the one who give you rezeki.. why doubt Him? Why do something He hates to earn money when you actually get rezeki from him? so the point is Allah is everything.. put Allah in our heart and dont worry about the world because Allah controls everything :) how was that? hihih


okayyy! the next chapter comes love <3

Wednesday 19 June 2013

CoNfUsEd


with my class 5Jujur, 2011, S.P.

do your classmates do this? ahahahahahh



see? i miss them :(

i knew something is wrong but i dont know what is wrong get me? yeah.. having some problem :( identity crisis :( the old me is fighting the new me.. actually i love the old me.. the ones who actually has the confidence to voice out le opinion and object others.. ok sebenarnya i miss debating.. me in uni have no confident to voice out my opinion.. in lecture hall too.. when i have questions i usually just keep my mouth shut coz i think that my question would be silly and others might laugh at me? yeahh seriously.. because they are too genius that sometime i think that i dont fit to be with them.. fail the same paper twice in one sem? how would you expect me to gain my confidence? whereas in my school i would just raise up my hand and start bashing the teachers with questions that piled up in my head.. yeah..

aite! how does this actually comes to my mind? i mean why so sudden i was thinking about this identity thingy? i like the new me but i love the old me more! so this is how it begin.. went out with le classmates on teachers day :D yeahh! happy to meet them! miss them a lot like crazyhhh! i didnt thought that i miss them that much lol! but yes i seriously miss them when we actually gather at subway for lunch.. that moment when they forced me to sit between heikal and J.R. im like i cant sit between them! they are not my mahram! and its haram! well since we didnt do any mistake i mean we just sit there and eat.. not like we do anything pun.. so i become hurmm ok! and then i realised the new me doesnt really like that situation but the old me is fine to it..

 before that on our way to paradigm i was in arif's car since the other car is FULL CAPACITY yo! so yeah between all of us i decided to go with arif and tado.. and suddenly the new me say hey!! i cant be here! im the only girl! shouldnt do this! but the old me are used to being alone with guys.. obviously! thats normal for the old me to be with guys although im alone becauseeeee im not doing anything wrong! i mean i need to go with them since its full in another car.. and i know them.. they are good guys..

sooo next scene is when Arif called me one evening telling me that he is in front of my house with tado..

taken at nano's open hse few years back... and pic below was taken recently



it was his birthday so yeah obviously i was happy to meet him and tado.. and we went to alya's and mr thiru's  hse basically it was an evening walk.. yes! this is who i am! we cant stop quarrelling over small things.. thats me.. when i have my own opinion and i see that people's opinion doesnt make sense i'll start to defend mine.. and yes that was me too!no matter how much we quarrel i never hate him! coz i know its just him.. no one would ever pick a fight with me like him! no one dares to make me sad but then make me happy to cheer me up! yes! i admit that im a harsh type person? but i know my limits.. and him! he is totally him! he doesnt hide his behaviour.. that is what i like about him! that means i can go on quarrelling with him coz i know neither one of us will win.. hahahah.. 

so on that day.. we were talking about culture shock in uni.. yeah most of us will feel that culture shock once we enter a new environment? new style of adapting to the new lifestyle.. yeah! it took me 1 whole sem to adapt to it.. i was from a place where you can see malays, chinese and indians seat together but then it turn out malays everywhere! the mentality are totally different.. yeah! im a social type.. as in i dont mind being with them! im an open minded.. but when it comes to religion what is wrong is wrong no matter if you are the only one who does it right.. get me? i respect others as well..

and suddenly our topic came out to speaking in english.. wait speaking in english is an issue? yes it is.. when you are in an environment when people speaks in english most of the time to a NEW environment where people hate to speak english just because they say they have broken english.. look! we dont care whether you have broken english coz guess what mine is not perfect either! but! since we used to speak english most of the time so we think that speaking english not a big issue until people call you poyo or show off dude or something.. we are just being us? yes! im not good in english i admit that! but taking some effort to polish my english by speaking english is call a crime is totally rubbish mentality.. and yes! my friend was called a sex maniac just because he sits with a girl seriously? 

does that show who he is or who you are? is that how Islam taught you? NO! what i see is these malays are trying to say that they are more islamic people then ourself.. yes i admit that im still learning more about Islam.. but to say NO to this NO to that sometimes make people feel Islam is a hard religion when Islam is actually an awesome one! yes Islam is so detail! every perspective counts! being too harsh on someone is not a good way to dakwah you see.. at times it is annoying! as long as he doesnt do anything haram its fine.. so now you see how confused i am? :( and the best thing is people doesnt realised how much did i change :D yeay for that! and someone kept saying that i havent change! and second yeay for that! thats cool! i want them to treat me the same not any aliens heheheh.. 

Tuesday 16 April 2013

if the eyes dont cry the heart will


Allah understands our prayers even when we can't find the right words to express it.


entah kenapa lately rasa mcm nak jumpa someone nak tell her everything wat ive went through hug her and cry.. rasa mcm lost! i felt that nothing left for me to look forward to :'( and usually kalau rasa mcm tu mesti cari una.. kenapa una? coz i felt comfortable talking to her.. and she knows when im not ok.. tp sejak peristiwa akak kahwin i realised something.. i cant tell her everything.. she may know when im not ok.. but she didnt know what am i hiding from her..  sampaikan una ckp dah hbs exam pun stress ke? huhuhu life pun blh buat kt stress jugak :D mak? she is my very the best the friend ;) tapi sometimes there is things i prefer to keep to myself rather than telling her

takkan tak de kwn nak bg tau? ada je.. tp i doubt they can keep it.. its not about how much i trust them.. i trust my friends.. tp that one peristiwa yg berlaku when i was in form 3.. i told my friends what am i going through yet I feel that they thought what I said is all lies and i thought that they thought what i really wanted is their attention.. despite its so hard to tell my situation really is, it is hard for me to make them trust me.. lagi pun tak nak bebankan diorg  tp mai ada ckp kawan apa kalau tak menyusahkan kawan! HAHAHHA

kadang2 dalam dunia realiti bkn psl nak amik exam je blh menyebabkan stress.. tp bnyk lagi benda lain.. rapuh sungguh rasanya.. rasa mcm nak give up.. rasa mcm nak jerit je kat sorg2 ckp masalah yg timbul ni your fault so solve kan lah sendiri.. mcm org lain tak de keje nak fikirkan solution for you.. hikhok :3 kadang2 pelik kenapa org yg sepatutnya menghadapi masalah ni he can be so calm.. he looks just fine like nothing happen and he live happily ever after tanpa menyedari masalah yg dah timbul.. kadang2 rasa mcm nak sepak je sorg2! diorg ni hidup berkhayal ke?kerenah sorg2 lain.. why cant they help me? i cant do this ALONE! mana tak gundah gulana hidup nihhh..

skali ada org ni nasihat.. dia ckp perempuan ada satu masa bila dia rasa mcm semua tak betul.. Kadangkala Allah beri kita rasa sunyi dan rasa keseorangan walaupun ada insan di sekeliling kita,sebenarnya Allah hendak melihat kita menangis,mengadu dan bersujud kpd-Nya. high hopes :3
baru rasa mcm smgt nak teruskan life.. 

skali pg tadi ada lah ustzh ni ckp.. 
bila kt didatangkan ujian.. jgn mudah mengeluh.. tanpa kt ketahui Allah sgt menyayangi kt ;) sbb Allah dah tetapkan darjat kt semua dkt syurga.. tp melihat amalan kt yg terlampau sedikit jadi Allah timpakan ujian,, and Allah takkan menguji melebihi yg kt mampu..


lps tu ustz tu ckp.. cuba tgk haiwan.. burung.. diorg hidup kadang2 dpt makanan cukup utk dia je.. kadang2 cukup utk anak2 dia je.. tak pernah pulak dia pegi patuk dinding sampai berdarah paruh dia... cicak pulak hidup dia melekat kat dinding tp makanan dia semua blh terbang.. tak de pulak cicak ni mengadu tak de sayap.. akhir skali cacing! cacing ditafsirkan ustz ni as OKU total.. kenapa? sbb tak de mata, tgn, kaki semua laah tak de.. tp cacing ni mampu hidup sampai gemuk2! huwaaaa :D SUBHANALLAH :D

kalau ikutkan diri ni mcm rapuh tahap 99.9%.. rasa mcm bila2 nak terjatuh tersungkur rasa mcm i have enough of this! tp dalam hidup kt kena yakin! Allah takkan mezalimi hamba2nya.. put your trust in Allah and buang lah soalan2 like why kt yg ditimpakan ujian mcm ni :) Allah tahu takat mana kt blh buat dan Allah takkan menguji melebihi kemampuan hambaNya..be grateful with tiny things that Allah gave to us.. it matters :D a moment of patience in a moment of anger prevents a thousand moments of regrets (: bila kt rasa dah tak mampu luahkan pada Allah kerana Dialah pemilik ketenangan.. hold on! dunia ni sementara! its a transit! never stop praying (:

hanya dengan mengingati Allah hati akan menjadi tenang ;)








PS credit to lennon for your quotes for my post lol! cilok jap :P

Wednesday 10 April 2013

Alhamdulillah Im Proud To Be a Palamian :D

UiTM Puncak Alam
200+ anak tangga yg terpaksa kami redah selama tinggal dkt palam


All praises to Allah! Alhamdulillah :D 2 sem dah pun tamat perjuangan asasian palamian (: Hidup dkt palam bnyk mengajar tentang hidup.. maklumlah skolah dkt peejayy.. skolah yg bebas dlm pergaulan.. lelaki dan perempuan, Islam dan non muslim kami bergaul.. its awesome to be in both places..

Hidup dekat uni tak sama mcm dkt skolah.. everything we need in uni is effort.. as long as you put in your effort Insyaallah Allah will make it easier for you in everything.. tp jgn lupa doa! mula2 susah nak adapt! i took 1 whole sem to adapt in palam.. it hurts me just because i hate being away from my mother and im used to living at home.. Alhamdulillah Allah open my heart and yes i did adapt living there :D

so begin with my class :) Something that i always look up for! they make me smile! we cry together! asalkan kt buat trip tak kisahlah dari class trip sampai lah ke outing masyaallah only Allah knows what we went through.. masalah transportnya lain, masalah tmptnya lain.. but Alhamdulillah with Allahs' help we succeed overcome the problems alhamdulillah (:

this is le class rep! Muhammad Nur Islam bin Zahari..
He call me taman -___- youtube search taman rasyidah utama by awie plzz :[

le maths lecturer! madam tong! she never pull me down, she always give her best
hoping to be like her one day Insyaallah!
Miss Laily! :D my mentor! she really helped me a lot during my foundation!
May Allah bless you Miss ;)

Last day of lecture! :D A3! not all of them are in the pic btw
so its not about introducing who taught me who didnt! but its all about our bond! Subhanallah! i am very impressed with our bond throughout this 2 sems.. An awesome class rep! hambarism jokes in class.. Lecturers always complain about our class.. we've been so noisy! but i think to have an awesome class is all about bonding! we have a siblings bond ;) and i know most of the class doesnt :P

So we went to Perak for our class trip! ye gua tempurung! tp sayaaaaaang tak de gmbr dkt situ since ktorg amik package yg paling adventurous! masuk air dari hujung rmbut sampai hujung kaki.. A credit to my classmates during our class trip laah.. Masa masuk gua tu dgn cabaran dia mmg pergh! terbaek! bila nak kena slide turun tu igt lg mcm mana budak lelaki terpaksa tampung berat ktorg.. #terharu walaupun diorg bukanlah org yg pergi gym ke apa tp sbb diorg ni gentleman mmg salute! ye budak lelaki class kt tersgtlaah gentleman! knp? bkn je sbb tu bnyk lg sbb.. masa kluar outing dgn diorg pape masalah pun diorg akan cuba utk protect the girls from any harmful situations :) subhanallah.. selama ni igt species jenis ni dah pupus! tp mesti ada kekurangannya kaan?

Nak dijadikan citer masa class trip tu~ ktorg pegi memancing :D pancing2 punya pancing lepas 3 umpan hilang akhirnya dpt jugaaa :D lps tu class rep pulak memancing fuhhh :O dia bukan je pancing ikan! dia pi pancing bot yg kami duk ramai2 naik tu ha! mcm mana? dia nak pi baling dia punya mata kail tu jauh2.. tp apakan daya dia campak jauh mana pun tersangkut kat atas bumbung bot kami! adoyaaii! lps tu! si kaaar ni haa! pi lak ckp kalau kau dpt ikan aku cium lah ikan tu haa kaaau

dia ni mcm2 dia bela.. setakat cium ikan tu celah gigi ja :D


our kuala sepetang cruise! :D

our escape for bio eco project!
haa pastu kami pi bukit malawati lak :D aslam dgn ran jd tour guide (: happy much! sbb dah lama nak pi sana tp hajat tidak kesampaian :(


haa! sebenarnya yg nak habaq nihh ! ni kat bawah ni haa! depa laah yg jadi insyaallah kwn dunia akhirat cheq.. adoii rimas ahh longhat! ok! diorg ni tatkala kt rasa gusar, gelisah diorg yg selalu bg pandangan.. bila ada masalah diorg lah yg kt cari.. kadang2 terdetik dkt hati nak sembunyikan tp mesti diorg dgn jayanya mengorek rahsia -___- ada yg kata bila kt berkwn dgn org yg suka menyebarkan ilmu, dan mematuhi syriat Allah, hati akan jadi tenang.. Alhamdulillah.. dgn mai selalu dpt input tntg agama.. dia bnyk bg smgt supaya jgn putus asa.. tp tu semua nasihat drpd Allah menerusi Mai.. Alhamdulillah :D pernah tak kwn kejut utk tahajjud? atau igtkan malam jumaat utk baca al kahfi? alhamdulillah again :D im blessed to have my friends to wake me up early in the morning for tahajjud prayer tp kadang2 tumpas  dgn nafsu tidur yg melahap -___-

me-raja-syahirah-humaira
 special thanks to mai for all the advice you gave me, thank you so much for being there whenever i need you :) Raja pun! syahirah pun!

my photography! :D well i have hobby capturing scenery! weeee

my bond! raja farah izzaty raja idzhar

a wonderful experience tanam pokok bakau ;) and yes! ran is one yg i can trust! 

le lab report friends :D 

last skali the night our final paper before everyone go with their own way..
sepanjang dkt uitm sebenarnya mengajar diriku siapa itu Allah.. mungkin bila duduk rumah i felt that im protected since im living with my parents.. sgt lain bila duduk asrama where we need to take care our ownself.. dkt situ jugaklah kt belajar berdikari dan yg paling penting belajar agama... rakan2 taklim bnyk share ilmu! majlis2 agama yg persatuan rakan masjid buat pun tersgtlah bnyk.. its up to us whether to attend or do our own work.. statement uitm uni sosial tak wajar sbb sebenarnya bnyk aktiviti2 yg diorg buat bagi menyematkan cintakan Allah dan Rasulullah dalam hati kt semua tp terpulang kpd kt nak pilih yg mana.. tak kisahlah bila kt dicampak ke mana sekali pun kt yg akan menentukan siapa kt.. mmg Allah telah menulis suratan kehidupan kt dkt luh mahfuz tp Allah kurniakan kt akal utk berfikir dan menilai yg mana yg baik dan buruk..